I frequently end up discussing this topic with other young moms, so here are my thoughts…

There are two popular books that get circulated a lot about babies and sleep, at least in my circles of friends. Both were given to me before my daughter was born: “Baby Wise“, by Gary Ezzo and “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth. Some people are die hard supporters of one camp or the other. I always suggest people read both and then take both with a grain of salt and find something that works for your family and your baby’s temperment. It seems like the main difference between the books is that Baby Wise suggests you schedule sleeping around an eating schedule, and Healthy Sleep Habits suggests you schedule eating around a sleeping schedule. The latter seems more logical and workable to me, as you have more control over when your baby will eat than you do over when they will or will not sleep!! :)

Baby Wise is a good one to read… I read that before I read Healthy Sleep Habits.
I do like the philosophical underpinnings of Baby Wise – ie: the family does not revolve around the baby (although to an extent, you have to… especially with a newborn), not co-sleeping, etc. His descriptions of demand feeding seemed a bit extreme to me. Also, because Baby Wise only gives suggested guidelines for newborns, many parents I have talked to seem a bit confused about how to continue sleep patterns through childhood, and when they go from sleeping every 2 1/2 hours to taking 3 consistent naps a day, etc. His suggested schedule might work like a dream for your 3-6 week old, but then what do you do when their sleep needs start changing?

I also think Ezzo puts far too much stress on getting the baby to sleep through the night. AG started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, and LB didn’t consistently do that until 13-14 weeks. AG was a terrible napper until 8-10 weeks and WOULD NOT fall asleep on her own during the day, and LB napped like a champ from day one! Every baby has a completely different temperment. Try not to compare with other babies the same age too obsessively and feel like a failure because there is only so much control you have. I have talked to people who are so worried about their baby sleeping through the night and staying on schedule that I don’t think they even enjoy those first couple of months. There is more to parenting than getting your kid to sleep through the night as early as possible.

Healthy Sleep Habits is written by a pediatrician and pediatric sleep specialist and it gives information and guidelines through school age children… Baby Wise doesn’t have nearly the amount of scientific research behind it and really only discusses newborns. Healthy Sleep Habits is far superior, in my opinion, in giving you an overall plan for healthy sleep patterns throughout childhood. Granted, Weissbluth’s book is not a page turner. Read it well before the baby is born because there is no way you’ll want to plow through this book when you’re averaging 4 hours of sleep per night!! However, it’s definitely worth reading and I refer back to it often as the kids get older. It is broken down by age level and also addresses common sleep problems. I also liked that he acknowleges the fact that some babies are far more difficult than others and will need different approaches (Ezzo does not seem to do this at all!). I am definitely not in favor of co-sleeping, and Weissbluth is open to it. That was really the only “issue” I had with his book.

So, my recommendation, whatever that’s worth, is that people read both and then take them with a grain of salt. Your baby will be a unique little person. You can’t control everything. Isn’t that part of the amazing lesson we learn in parenting? Whether it’s pregnancy, childbirth (I think the trend to have a written “birth plan” is a little funny – like you really have that much control over what happens during labor!!), getting your newborn to sleep, nursing… we have to accept that most of that is completely out of our hands. Praise God that He’s in control of it all!!