Ever since AG was born and I became a full time mom, I have thought much about how to really “be at home” with my kids, not just keep them out of daycare. I have a good friend who does daycare in her home – and I have to say, she does a bang-up job. If I was going to send my kids somewhere, they would be at Amanda’s. Back when we had two cars :), I would go hang out with her every other week or so. Those kids are blessed to have Amanda caring for them; she fills their days with crafts, songs, dancing, active play, stories, and educational activities galore. I get tired watching her!

It gets me thinking: why am I at home?

My answer to that is more than “I can’t imagine sending them to daycare.” It’s more than “I don’t want them to get sick all the time.” It certainly isn’t that we have so much money that I don’t need to work! It’s not that I am not passionate about anything else and so have found my identity as a stay-at-home mom.

So, why? My husband and I feel strongly that our children are not ours alone. They belong to God, and He has entrusted them to us. Why? To nurture them, train them, teach them Truth, to disciple them: to teach them to follow closely after Jesus Christ, and know Him and His Word so well that they think and act like Him. That really is the meaning of discipleship! And we believe it is impossible to do this in 2-3 hours a day. Enter the role of: mother!

Most of the time my job is very unglamorous. I wipe noses. I change diapers and assist the one who doesn’t wear diapers with the potty process! I cut food into tiny, non-chokable bites. I think about nutritional value of Gerber Puffs and if I can trick my 3 year old into eating vegetable soup with the promise of fruit for dessert when she finishes! I disinfect doorknobs, clean the kitchen and bathroom, vacuum and dust, and organize closets and endless bins of children’s clothing (for which I am too thankful to complain about!) I read Sandra Boynton board books and can chant Dr. Suess in my sleep. This morning I helped paint black spots on a herd of cows, laid on my back and magically turned into a car (my hands were the pedals), and delighted in the scientific marvel of stacking cups with my son: they stack into a big tower, yet fit together inside of each other!

And in between these every day, nonglamorous tasks and joys, we have little windows of time to teach Truth. This morning as we got dressed we sang “This is the Day” and talked about God’s goodness and the beauty of the sunshine. We watched birds at the birdfeeder and discussed that Jesus said He knows all about the sparrows and if one of them falls to the ground – and He says we are even more important than sparrows! We reviewed our Bible verse of the week (“Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Philippians 2:14) before naptime and I had a chance to praise AG for a morning with no complaining! A feat for a 3 year old!

These are all tiny little events within the span of a long day… but those tiny windows add up. And I pray that when my children are grown they can be described as Timothy was by the apostle Paul, that they knew the Scriptures from infancy.

There are obviously lots of other benefits to being home with them, as well. My kids are, as a general rule, unhurried and unbound by time demands. I don’t have to rouse them out of bed before they’re ready, hurry out the door, and drop them off somewhere else. We leisurely rise and dress and breakfast, with our only scheduled morning event being Word World starting at 9am. They have very consistent discipline. They feel safe and secure emotionally and physically. They’re not picking up language I wish they didn’t know from someone else’s kid. We are recognizable to all of the children’s librarians at our local library as well as to the employees at the post office (Particularly “Postman Dave” who knows that AG likes stickers and hands them out freely). AG can confidently lead you to any animal you wish to see at the zoo, tell you the step-by-step process of a tadpole turning into a frog, or interesting facts like, “Did you know tomatoes are fruit? They have seeds!”

And yet, despite all of these obvious benefits, I occasionally feel the tension of disdain from other women. Small comments like, “What do you do all day?” Or inferences that they have to do everything I do in less time. Or statements about how their vocation is so “important” or such a “calling.” (doesn’t that imply that my life lacks importance and that I am home because I wasn’t called elsewhere?) I get tired of hearing women complain about “having to work” because they can’t afford to stay home – implying that we are so well off that it was easy to live on one income.

Even as I battle the frustration that wells up inside me I find myself getting pulled away from the very things that compelled me to be home in the first place. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, trivial things clamor to take my time and attention away from where they should be. I feel like I am constantly battling to try to find a consistent daily routine, a proper way to balance outside ministry with my work at home, and ways to effectively teach the minds and train the hearts of my little ones.

Do you feel the tension? I would love to have some discussion with other full-time moms. To further the discussion, I encourage you to read this article at CPYU (Center for Parent and Youth Understanding) that a friend sent to me. It’s excellent, and I identified well with the author! Please share your thoughts – it’s always nice to know that you’re not alone!

And you might want to check out this excellent post from Joy at The Stay-at-home Missionary on mothering and ministry!!

“How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the rule of three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.” -G.K. Chesterton