How’s that for a catchy title? I’ve been thinking more about the comparison issue that I raised in today’s earlier homeschooling post… here are my rambly thoughts about it. I’ll throw in a seemingly unrelated story first. ;)

When I was pregnant with AG, I did what any overly paranoid-and-frantically-trying-to-figure-this-out expectant parent would do – I read everything I could get my hands on. Those plastic bags of literature and samples they send you home with after your first prenatal appointment. The free stuff that comes in the mail. The pamphlets included in your free diaper bag and additional big plastic bag of samples and brochures that you come home from the hospital with.

I basically came away with a vague awareness of how to bathe my newborn (thank goodness my mom is an RN who worked in Labor and Delivery for a long time – I got to take my nurse home with me to teach me all of these things in person!), a conviction that I should never EVER place my child on their belly to sleep (a rule which I later threw out the window when my child would NOT SLEEP – not necessarily advisable, but you do what you need to to survive!), and a commitment to breastfeed exclusively. Clearly, if I didn’t my child would end up mentally, emotionally, and physically stunted.

Things seemed to be going ok those first few weeks (other than the not sleeping thing… which was not enjoyable!). I carefully checked off my little chart the hospital gave me to make sure AG had the right number of wet diapers and stools – from my non-experienced perspective nursing seemed to be going ok.

And then…

I took my teeny little baby to her 1 month check. She was pretty tiny, but as I never really left the house and placed her next to another 4 week old baby, I hadn’t realized that she was too tiny. She was 6lb 13oz at birth, and at her 1 month check she was 6lbs even.

Not good. It was time for her to nurse so they told me to feed her and they’d weigh her again to see how much milk she was getting.

Drumroll… 1 ounce.

I bawled my eyes out in the pediatrician’s office. I was starving my baby! Why didn’t I know that she wasn’t gaining weight? Why didn’t I realize that my milk supply was basically nonexistent?? I beat myself up appropriately as any mother would. Thank the Lord for a very kind and compassionate pediatrician who quickly assured me that I was not a bad mother, I had done everything I knew to do, and we would figure this thing out. He sent me home with a bag of formula, which as a well-read breastfeeding mother, felt like defeat and compromise.

I called the lactation consultant immediately when I got home and set up an appointment. I wanted to nurse! My baby needed me to nurse! She’s going to be stunted!! (I was also running on a few hours of sleep at night, which does drastically magnify the drama in your mind!) :)

After a few weeks of meeting with her a couple of times, pumping for HOURS every day, trying supplements and a prescription that “almost always” boosts milk supply, we did the weigh/nurse/weigh routine again to see how much milk she was getting.

Drumroll… 1 ounce.

I was so upset and really felt defeated. The lactation consultant did something that I will be grateful for the rest of my life – she looked at me compassionately and said, “We can almost always address milk supply issues, but sometimes there are things that are beyond our control. Formula is not poison. Nursing is best, but formulas today are very, very good. Your job is to nourish your baby, and if formula is your best option, that’s not a bad thing.”

I think I cried a little on the way home. Partly from grief (there is a real grieving process when you can’t breastfeed and want to SO badly), partly from relief. My job was to take care of little tiny AG the best way I could. Period. La Leche League and your guilt, be gone. And you know what? For months I felt a little guilty and a little judged by breastfeeding mothers when I pulled out my bottles of formula. I think it was all in my mind, but that’s how I felt.

So, why am I telling you this long and schooling-unrelated story?

Your job is to disciple and train your children. They need to know God’s Word. They need to know algebra and literature. They need to be equipped to impact their world for Jesus Christ.

That’s your job. The method of how to get there will look different for different families. You might even feel a little judged by others for what you do or don’t do, for sending your kids to public school or for not having circle time with your home schooled little ones. :) But between listening to the Lord, knowing your kids, and communicating with your husband, your family needs to figure out how to do that in the way that’s best for you.

And whatever you do, if you are sensitive to the Lord and diligent to teach and train your children, they will not be stunted. ;)

The fall back-to-school buzz is everywhere, and many of the homeschooling blogs I follow are already talking much about burn-out, fear of failure, the “honeymoon” of starting homeschool being over, etc! If your kids are in public school or Christian school, you might be feeling those things too, in a different way. Did you make the right choice, how is this teacher going to be, will I be able to get them to school on time every day?? (that would not be an easy one for me!!!)

Obviously, as I have shared, we are starting our journey down the path of homeschooling – God has clearly led us in that direction, although I definitely don’t think it’s the best option for every family. I was sad to receive an email from a pastor’s wife who struggles with the fact that she cannot homeschool their children – she has felt condemned and judged by other Christian women because of the fact that she isn’t homeschooling. I wish that was the first time I had heard that from/about a pastor’s wife… but it isn’t.

After posting the “Stupid in America” 20/20 video on facebook, it stirred up quite a little controversy! One of the things I shared in that discussion was that I think that so much of our little territorial wars over issues from bottle feeding to schooling choices stems from fear that perhaps we didn’t make the best choice – that maybe a different way is just as good, or even better (*gasp!*). We do what seems best to us for our families and our children, but then instead of respecting the choices of others we declare them to be absolutely wrong (either in our heads or verbally!) and seek to prove that we have made the superior choice. It gets ugly.

Already with a 3 year old doing rather informal preschool, I feel a bit pressured. I don’t do “circle time” – is that bad? Should I find a co-op so she can play with other kids more often? The other night I found myself browsing preschool Bible curriculums that were just Bible stories retold… and then I thought, “hello! You don’t need a curriculum for that!!” Somehow because other people said they were using a resource that I wasn’t I felt like I was jipping my kids. There are so many awesome resources now for homeschool, but it is easy to start comparing yourself and wondering if you’re doing something wrong if what you’re doing is different.

My friend Julie over at Come Have a Peace shared some great wisdom today. She is a wise and godly woman who has had their kids in every form of schooling (two different ones right now) and understands the blessings and stresses of each. If you’re feeling pressured or frustrated or you just aren’t sure this is going to work… take a minute and listen to someone else who can share some balanced wisdom! You can read her post “When doing good goes bad” here.

If you have read my blog long or know me in “real life,” I’m sure that you’ve picked up on the fact that I love Aldi!

I love their cereal, but probably our favorite product of all is:

The Sweet Onion fresh salsa. Oh, man. This stuff is GOOD!!! [I lived in San Antonio, Texas for quite a few of my "formative years," so I appreciate a good salsa!] I’ve heard the other flavors of fresh salsa they have are really good, too, but we just can’t branch out – we love this stuff too much. (And by the way, it’s only $2.00!)

I could live on it. And, I figure it’s ok – it’s all vegetables, after all! :)

You can even eat it for breakfast if you make breakfast tacos! I posted something on facebook a couple of weeks ago that I made bacon and egg breakfast tacos, and some of my Yankee friends had never heard of this delectable Texas staple. Here’s how I make them (although I’m sure this is not “authentic”… but since there are more Amish bulk stores than Mexican groceries where we live, cut me some slack.)

1. Cook 1-2 strips of bacon per taco.

2. Meanwhile, make some scrambled eggs. 1.5-2 eggs per taco is quite sufficient. When the eggs are set but not completely dry and cooked, add in a handful of shredded cheddar. Scrape the eggs and cheese to one side of the skillet, and put a few spoonfuls of salsa on the other side to warm through (try to squeeze out as much of the liquid from the salsa as you can so the eggs don’t get too watery.) Stir the warmed salsa into the eggs.

3. Spoon the egg/ cheese/ salsa mixture into warm tortillas. Top with whole strip(s) of bacon and additional salsa if desired. (I do, thank you. More is better!)

Ole!

Ya’ll should turn on some loud Tejano music and dance yourself over to thediaperdiaries.net for more Things I Love Thursday posts. ;)

Image by Fergal OP via Flickr

As I mentioned before, I’ve been studying the Sermon on the Mount beginning in Matthew chapter 5. Today I thought we’d start looking at this amazing message from Jesus together.

I don’t know how familiar you may be with the beattitudes, or if you’ve even given them a second thought. In one of my college classes focused on how to teach the Bible, we were broken into groups and assigned age levels that we were to prepare Bible lessons for based on the Beattitudes. Once we were given the assignment it was amazing to me how everyone jumped right to work thinking about methods without actually studying the passage! Somehow we all assume that we know them because they are familiar to us. That assignment was a great motivator for me to study this opening section of the Sermon on the Mount, and I was amazed by how little I really had understood this section of Scripture. It has been refreshing and challenging to go back and spend time in these verses again over the past few weeks.

So, let’s start at the very beginning – a very good place to start! ;)

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

The meaning of the word “poor” here is fascinating. It is in contrast with another Greek word which means “poor but able to help oneself.” This word means “poor and helpless; one who, in his abjectness, needs lifting. So poor he can sustain himself only through begging – one who has nothing at all.”

Right off the bat, Jesus’ words strike at the heart of what keeps countless numbers of people from accepting His redemptive work on their behalf – pride. No one likes to consider themselves as utterly helpless, unable to pull themselves up, so completely in need that our only hope is the mercy of another. And yet, it is only when one recognizes that this truly is the state of his or her soul that we can be blessed and enter the kingdom of heaven.

I remember the terrifying feeling of being wheeled out of the hospital with newborn AG in my arms, heading home for the first time. We buckled her into the car, and I remember looking at my husband and saying, “That’s it? We’re just taking her? Do they know that we’re leaving with this baby that we don’t know what to do with??!” :) We were half joking, but it was a scary thought that this completely helpless little baby was now our sole responsibility!

In order to be truly blessed, to be redeemed from our bondage of sin and filled with the satisfying presence of Jesus Christ, we have to recognize that we are as helpless as a newborn baby. Without the direct, merciful intervention of God, all of our efforts to be good and righteous and holy are pathetic failures. We must recognize that we are poor in spirit – utterly helpless and hopeless without Him.

This goes completely against our prideful and rebellious sin natures! There is no room for a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality here. How frequently people object to others implying that they themselves are sinners – “I’m a good person! I’ve never killed anyone! I believe in God! I even volunteer in my community, and I donated money to help the victims of Katrina!”

Notice Paul’s response to this mentality in Philippians 3:4-9. [He had been the ultimate "good religious guy!"]

If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.
But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

No matter how well we follow the rules or do good things, we cannot gain righteousness on our own. We can never be good enough on our own to stand before a completely holy God. Through the rest of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus brings our self-righteous thoughts into clear view – you haven’t murdered anyone, but if you’ve been angry with someone, if you’ve called them a fool, you are guilty enough to face the fire of Hell! (see Matthew 5:21-22)

Our only hope is the mercy of God. When we realize the true nature of our sin, when we are broken and humble before Him, asking for Him to give us a righteousness that comes not from ourselves but that “comes from God and is by faith,” when we recognize that we are completely helpless and unable to lift ourselves out of the pit – then we will gain the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are the poor in spirit.