How’s that for a catchy title? I’ve been thinking more about the comparison issue that I raised in today’s earlier homeschooling post… here are my rambly thoughts about it. I’ll throw in a seemingly unrelated story first. ;)

When I was pregnant with AG, I did what any overly paranoid-and-frantically-trying-to-figure-this-out expectant parent would do – I read everything I could get my hands on. Those plastic bags of literature and samples they send you home with after your first prenatal appointment. The free stuff that comes in the mail. The pamphlets included in your free diaper bag and additional big plastic bag of samples and brochures that you come home from the hospital with.

I basically came away with a vague awareness of how to bathe my newborn (thank goodness my mom is an RN who worked in Labor and Delivery for a long time – I got to take my nurse home with me to teach me all of these things in person!), a conviction that I should never EVER place my child on their belly to sleep (a rule which I later threw out the window when my child would NOT SLEEP – not necessarily advisable, but you do what you need to to survive!), and a commitment to breastfeed exclusively. Clearly, if I didn’t my child would end up mentally, emotionally, and physically stunted.

Things seemed to be going ok those first few weeks (other than the not sleeping thing… which was not enjoyable!). I carefully checked off my little chart the hospital gave me to make sure AG had the right number of wet diapers and stools – from my non-experienced perspective nursing seemed to be going ok.

And then…

I took my teeny little baby to her 1 month check. She was pretty tiny, but as I never really left the house and placed her next to another 4 week old baby, I hadn’t realized that she was too tiny. She was 6lb 13oz at birth, and at her 1 month check she was 6lbs even.

Not good. It was time for her to nurse so they told me to feed her and they’d weigh her again to see how much milk she was getting.

Drumroll… 1 ounce.

I bawled my eyes out in the pediatrician’s office. I was starving my baby! Why didn’t I know that she wasn’t gaining weight? Why didn’t I realize that my milk supply was basically nonexistent?? I beat myself up appropriately as any mother would. Thank the Lord for a very kind and compassionate pediatrician who quickly assured me that I was not a bad mother, I had done everything I knew to do, and we would figure this thing out. He sent me home with a bag of formula, which as a well-read breastfeeding mother, felt like defeat and compromise.

I called the lactation consultant immediately when I got home and set up an appointment. I wanted to nurse! My baby needed me to nurse! She’s going to be stunted!! (I was also running on a few hours of sleep at night, which does drastically magnify the drama in your mind!) :)

After a few weeks of meeting with her a couple of times, pumping for HOURS every day, trying supplements and a prescription that “almost always” boosts milk supply, we did the weigh/nurse/weigh routine again to see how much milk she was getting.

Drumroll… 1 ounce.

I was so upset and really felt defeated. The lactation consultant did something that I will be grateful for the rest of my life – she looked at me compassionately and said, “We can almost always address milk supply issues, but sometimes there are things that are beyond our control. Formula is not poison. Nursing is best, but formulas today are very, very good. Your job is to nourish your baby, and if formula is your best option, that’s not a bad thing.”

I think I cried a little on the way home. Partly from grief (there is a real grieving process when you can’t breastfeed and want to SO badly), partly from relief. My job was to take care of little tiny AG the best way I could. Period. La Leche League and your guilt, be gone. And you know what? For months I felt a little guilty and a little judged by breastfeeding mothers when I pulled out my bottles of formula. I think it was all in my mind, but that’s how I felt.

So, why am I telling you this long and schooling-unrelated story?

Your job is to disciple and train your children. They need to know God’s Word. They need to know algebra and literature. They need to be equipped to impact their world for Jesus Christ.

That’s your job. The method of how to get there will look different for different families. You might even feel a little judged by others for what you do or don’t do, for sending your kids to public school or for not having circle time with your home schooled little ones. :) But between listening to the Lord, knowing your kids, and communicating with your husband, your family needs to figure out how to do that in the way that’s best for you.

And whatever you do, if you are sensitive to the Lord and diligent to teach and train your children, they will not be stunted. ;)