February 18th, 2010 by Kristi Stephens

When we were newlyweds, I found myself frustrated about how to love my husband.  I knew that he was an “acts of service” person, but my ideas of what that meant didn’t seem to match up to NP’s. Among other non-realistic things, I dreamed of waking up and making him lovely breakfasts; I found it highly offensive when I discovered that he only wanted cereal!  [Cereal, to my husband, should be its own food group.]

After almost eight years of marriage, I know my husband better.  I know God’s Word better.  I have a much clearer framework for what Biblical womanhood looks like, beyond a simple reading of Ephesians 5.  And I have found that loving my husband is relatively straightforward once I have embraced who God made me to be and what He has called me to do.

The most effective ways I have of showing my husband love are embracing my role as his helper in all aspects of life, and by embracing my work of being a home-maker.

February 17th, 2010 by Kristi Stephens

To catch up on the posts in this series that you may have missed, they are all indexed here.

On Monday we looked at the fact that Job’s friends had a view of God that was too small – they were operating from a perspective of “retribution theology,” which basically means that righteousness will always result in prosperity, sin will always result in suffering and poverty.  Their wrong assumptions about the nature and ways of God caused them to accuse Job of wrongdoing, when in reality Job was suffering because of Satan’s attack upon this faithful God-fearer.

Now today we’re going to take a look at Job’s response to his suffering.  It seems that many of us have been taught to view Job as the hero of this story.  The thing is, he does respond in faith and worship at the beginning of the book (as we discussed last week)… but he falters.  Never forget that the Bible is not about people!

When we were going through the first few chapters, did these verses jump out at you?

1:22 – In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.
2:10 – In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.

Those are very specific statements!  When the “narrator” of a Biblical account makes specific, recurring statements like this, take notice!  There’s a reason!

As the dialogue between Job and his friends unfolds, we clearly see Job’s friends’ wrong theology showing up.  Unfortunately, we also see some things in the dialogue from Job which should raise a red flag.

Job 9:14-17
“How then can I dispute with him?
How can I find words to argue with him?

Though I were innocent, I could not answer him;
I could only plead with my Judge for mercy.

Even if I summoned him and he responded,
I do not believe he would give me a hearing.

Job 13:3

But I desire to speak to the Almighty
and to argue my case with God.

Job 13:17-23
Listen carefully to my words;
let your ears take in what I say.

Now that I have prepared my case,
I know I will be vindicated.
Can anyone bring charges against me?
If so, I will be silent and die.

“Only grant me these two things, O God,
and then I will not hide from you:

Withdraw your hand far from me,
and stop frightening me with your terrors.

Then summon me and I will answer,
or let me speak, and you reply.

How many wrongs and sins have I committed?
Show me my offense and my sin.

Job 19:6-9

…then know that God has wronged me
and drawn his net around me.

Though I cry, ‘I’ve been wronged!’ I get no response;
though I call for help, there is no justice.

He has blocked my way so I cannot pass;
he has shrouded my paths in darkness.

He has stripped me of my honor
and removed the crown from my head.

You see, Job was also operating from retribution theology.

February 16th, 2010 by Kristi Stephens

Ash Wednesday is tomorrow.

Last year in Lent, Fasting, and Other Outlandish Ideas, I shared my very sparse (if not nonexistent) background with Lent, and why I am starting to incorporate this into my own personal walk with the Lord.

Quoting from that post:

Fasting is a form of personal worship. It is not a dictated, regulated aspect within the New Covenant under Christ – it is a personal act of celebration within our walk with Him, an outgrowth of a desire to grow closer, commune deeper, to walk humbly with our God… [Richard] Foster also points out that it reveals the things which control us, as well. It is an act which God can use to purify us and reveal hidden sin in our lives.

Indeed, as I began to fast regularly for the first time in my life last year during the Lenten season, I did find that fasting made hidden sin glaringly obvious to me.  I shared more about my journey in Soul Hunger.

So, perhaps you are like me and fasting is a new and foreign concept.  I’d suggest you start by reading the first two posts which I already mentioned.  Now, let’s talk about particulars.

There are many different kinds of fasts.  You may have heard of people fasting from everything from media to carbohydrates to fasting from solid foods.  If you are wondering how you might incorporate fasting as a worshipful part of your preparations for the celebration of Christ’s resurrection, I’d suggest that you think about where you turn when you’re uncomfortable.

If you’re having a rough day – your kids are making you crazy, your work is causing immense amounts of frustration, a major appliance broke down unexpectedly, you’re dealing with conflict with your spouse, extended family, coworkers… what do you do?

I find myself doing these things, too – so let me suggest, ever so gently, that perhaps those things we turn to have become idols?

Rather than turning to the Lord at our weakest, most vulnerable moments, do we stuff down our emotions or conviction with food, entertainment, socialization, noise?  How often do we fail to hear Him, fail to receive all that He offers us, because we have settled for a cheap substitute – an idol?

As we approach Lent, perhaps we need to ask what idols have taken root in our lives.  Perhaps we should ask the Lord to help us use these 40 days of soul-preparation before Good Friday and Resurrection Day as a time to learn how to “find rest, O my soul, in God alone.”

Perhaps you need to fast from:

Food (total fasts for a day or two a week, or a fast from particular “comfort” foods you tend to turn to, etc.)
TV (all, or certain shows)
Your computer or social media (again, this might be a complete fast or limiting yourself to certain time blocks)
The phone, the radio…

Warning: DO NOT MAKE THIS LEGALISTIC.

You might feel led to give up TV or social media entirely – and your husband or friend may not.  That doesn’t mean they are less spiritual.

You seek the Lord.  You prayerfully search your heart.  And you ask the Lord: “how can I grow closer to You, commune deeper with You, walk humbly with You?”

Giving up chocolate for 40 days will do nothing for your spiritual walk unless this is a deliberate sacrifice – a choice to turn from something cheap and empty and seek to find fulfillment from God alone. To find your emotions and frustrations raw, with nothing to stuff them down with, and discover that God is present in our daily life and offers to us the strength to do what we cannot do on our own.

To learn more about fasting, and perhaps give you something to read as you prayerfully go through the Lenten season, you might want to download John Piper’s free ebook A Hunger for God here.

Do you have personal experience with fasting?  Have you found that it drives you to depend on God as it reveals what lesser things you use to comfort and satisfy your soul?

Image from freefoto.com

February 15th, 2010 by Kristi Stephens

Today we’re continuing on in our look at the book of Job as we seek to answer that ever-present question, “How could a good God…?”  To catch up on the posts in this series that you may have missed, they are all indexed here.

Now, if you’ve read through the book of Job recently, you probably buzzed through the first few chapters and then may have found yourself wandering in a fog through chapters 4 through 37.  These chapters contain a cycle of dialogue between Job and his friends which fall into a pattern.  (“E” for Eliphaz, “B” for Bildad, “Z” for Zophar.)

What is going on in these chapters?!

Here are a few quotes drawn from the dialogue – obviously this is a VERY brief summation, but hopefully it will help us glimpse the larger picture.

(From Eliphaz) Job 4:7-8

Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished?

Where were the upright ever destroyed?

As I have observed, those who plow evil

and those who sow trouble reap it.

Job 5:17

Blessed is the man whom God corrects;
so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.

(From Bildad) Job 8:3-6

Does God pervert justice?
Does the Almighty pervert what is right?

When your children sinned against him,
he gave them over to the penalty of their sin.

But if you will look to God
and plead with the Almighty,

if you are pure and upright,
even now he will rouse himself on your behalf
and restore you to your rightful place.

(From Zophar) Job 11:14-15

if you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,

then you will lift up your face without shame;
you will stand firm and without fear.