I’m referring, of course, to the proverbial cricket chirping coming from this site.

I had envisioned being a writing machine while on bedrest, but nope, that is absolutely not true. :)

Thanks for sticking with me in the meantime!

I really don’t like to make this blog about me… but today it seemed appropriate to give you an update.

Remember how I said that I kept forgetting I was pregnant? Baby boy apparently wants to make his final pre-birth weeks more memorable. ;) I spent five hours this morning in the maternity unit at the hospital, hooked up to monitors and watching my slight contractions show up like clockwork every five minutes. As excited as we are to see our little guy, we really don’t want to see him for another 7-10 weeks, thank you very much.

Long story short, the contractions are under control for now and I’m on bedrest for at least two weeks. This has a hidden benefit for a blogger with a laptop because because I will have more time to write. Unfortunately, that really is one of the only benefits I can think of at this point.

The only other benefit that is coming to mind is one that usually I would like to sidestep… being humbled, stopped in my tracks, and reminded that the world will continue to spin even if I am only laying on the couch. God has a way of working through these times of weakness, it seems… and apparently the Womb-Weaver is setting up a construction zone not only in my expanding belly but also in my heart.

So, friends, I just ask for your prayers… pray that little man stays put so he can continue to grow and develop as he should. Pray that the logistics of life are worked out… and I would so appreciate if you pray for me as I prepare to learn some difficult lessons from my couch. :)

This week I am recapping the messages I gave at a retreat last week - join us as we ask the question, “what’s your story?”

Tuesday we asked the question, “Who are you?” Wednesday, we considered “What do you really want?” Thursday the question was, “Where are you?” Today we finish our studies of the life of Jacob with one final, very important question: what is your name?

Today we find Jacob, the heel-grabber, the deceiver, fearing for his life as he nears his reunion with Esau. In verses 9-12, Jacob prays as we have never seen him pray before.

Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the Lord who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your family, and I will deal well with you’: “I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant; for I crossed over this Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two companies…

Genesis 32:9-10

This is the first time we have seen Jacob acknowledging God’s undeserved mercy and blessing toward him, and expressing faith in God’s promise to watch over him. And what is God’s answer to his prayer?

After dividing his family and possessions into two groups, hoping at least one of them would escape if Esau attacked him, he sends them across a stream ahead of him and prepares to spend the night alone. Then verse 24 says, “Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day.” What? How random is that?? It seems strange, but really it is God’s answer to his earlier prayer. If you haven’t read this recently, take a few minutes to brush up on this account – Genesis 32:24-30.

Who is this random man who wrestles with him? Jacob apparently knows – in verse 30 he says, “…I have seen God face to face…”

He is wrestling with Jesus himself! (This is what is known as a “Christophany” – an Old Testament appearance of Christ.)

So Jesus is wrestling with him and Jacob just will not give up. He is fighting and fighting and fighting, so Jesus touches his hip socket, dislocates it, and forces him into submission. Then Jacob refuses to let go of Him unless He blesses Him. Jesus asks Jacob his name, he gives it, and then Jesus says he is no longer Jacob, but will be Israel.

Here is my rephrased version of this chapter.

Jacob, “the deceiver,” the “heel grabber,” finally cries out to God. He finally recognizes that he is absolutely unworthy of all of God’s blessings upon Him, and begs for God’s protection and deliverance. God’s answer to the prayer? Jesus Himself comes and fights Jacob into submission – it is a long struggle, but He physically forces Jacob to submit. Jacob then clings to Him until he receives His blessing.

And then, Jesus asks him what his name is.

Isn’t that a strange question, since God created Jacob, has watched over him, pursued him, and knows him intimately? Did Jacob’s “hello, my name is:” tag fall off during the wrestling match? Why does He ask Jacob’s name?

Imagine the tension here. He is clinging to “the Man” he somehow knows is God Himself and has asked for a blessing. Jesus looks into his eyes and says, “What is your name?” And now Jacob has to say it: I am Jacob. I am a deceiver. I am a heel-grabber. And he knows full well that he has done a bang-up job of living up to that name. Jesus hears his answer and then replies, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel…

This change of name was very significant. He is no longer the deceiver. His name has been changed because his character has been changed.

Imagine that your deepest, darkest sin in your life was your name… what name would you have to confess to Him if you were in Jacob’s position?

We all have something to confess to Him. No one is good except God alone.

It is interesting to me that in Genesis 32:28, Jesus changes Jacob’s name to Israel and says, “because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.”

In Revelation chapters 2 and 3 there are seven letters to different churches- and each ends with a promise to those who “overcome.”

In Revelation 2:17, Jesus says that He will give to those who overcome “a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him to receives it.”

We overcome the same way Jacob did… we don’t overcome by following rules. We don’t overcome by looking the part. We don’t overcome because we have a Christian heritage. We overcome by submitting to Jesus Christ, admitting to Him who we really are, and clinging to Him with all of our strength.

When you do that – He changes your name.

And He changes your story.

This week I am recapping the messages I gave at a retreat last week - join us as we ask the question, “what’s your story?” Today I am sharing my own story over at Scripture Dig – I hope you’ll take a few minutes to read my journey of coming to understand that I am one of the forgiven much.

Tuesday we asked the question, “Who are you?” Yesterday, we considered “What do you really want?” Today the question is, “Where are you?”

While I was in college my family lived north of Chicago. My sophomore year I had my own car and was driving home for the first time with a couple of other girls who lived in the area. I dropped one of them off deep in the city in an area that was unfamiliar to me – a very confusing area where all the highways twist and intersect. Needless to say, I got completely turned around. The girl who was with me in the car didn’t know how to read a map, and after we realized we were lost we were in a terrible part of town late at night and knew it wasn’t safe to sit in a parking lot trying to figure out where to go. [Oh, for a GPS!] :)

I called my dad frantically and told him what was happening. He told me, “find the Sears tower. Drive toward it, and keep it in your front passenger window.” I had no idea where I was, but by finding that one unmistakable Chicago landmark, my dad gave me a sense of direction and helped me find my way home. Having that one fixed landmark gave me the direction I needed to find my way out of utter confusion. Knowing where you are changes everything.

We’re picking up Jacob‘s story today in Genesis 28 as he flees from Esau and stops for the night in Bethel.

Remember the wording: a ladder was set up on the earth, and its top reached to heaven; and there the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. (28:12)

What is this dream all about? Access to God. God is basically offering Jacob a personal relationship with Him – which is the only access to heaven.

How does Jacob respond to God’s offer? Check out 28:20-21.

Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me, and keep me in this way that I am going, and give me bread to eat and clothing to put on, so that I come back to my father’s house in peace, then the Lord shall be my God.

In other words: Ok, God. IF you are with me and bless me and give me everything I need or want and bring me back to my family, THEN you can have the privilege of being my God. Is this a genuine response of faith and gratitude for God’s amazing offer? I’m afraid not.  As we discussed in yesterday’s post, Jacob seems far more interested in receiving God’s blessings than he is in knowing God Himself. Jacob didn’t understand that the real treasure was knowing God. Now, keep all of that in mind and fast-forward to the New Testament. In John 1:51, Jesus says

“Most assuredly, I say to you, hereafter you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.”

(The Son of Man is a title used for Christ). The wording Jesus used would not be lost on the men he was speaking to at this point- He was claiming to be Jacob’s ladder! He is the only point of access to the Father!

Through Christ, God has offered us an unbelievable gift – a way of access to Him! Unfortunately, our wayward hearts often respond similarly to Jacob’s: “If God will take care of me and keep me safe and keep me comfortable and give me everything I want, THEN He can be my God. [And if He allows me to experience pain or suffering or sickness or the results of my own bad choices or if He just does things I don't understand, all bets are off.]“

My friends, we have to decide what we really want! Not only that… but do you know where you are?

Jacob realized that he was in the presence of God, and it made him afraid – but he didn’t allow it to change his heart and life.

Do you know where you are? Not just physically where you are… do you recognize that you are, right now, in the presence of God? That He wants to meet you where you are and have a true, vibrant relationship with you?

Stop settling for stuff. Wake up and realize that God is offering you access to Himself. Just like the Sears Tower offered me a fixed point of direction that allowed me to find my way, realizing that we live each day in His presence – longing to know Him above all else- will change the way we live, the choices we make, the priorities we have. Do you realize where you are?