Questions to Ponder Before You Post: HOW?
May 25th, 2011 by Kristi Stephens
All this week the Scripture Dig team is sharing their favorite posts from KristiStephens.com Today Julie is sharing one that is very close to my heart and a topic I refer to often – Guarding our Emotional Modesty online. It’s an important topic and goes along perfectly with what we’ve been discussing this week. Join us at Scripture Dig for a little extra encouragement in navigating social media!
I wonder how many times I’ve sent an email and wished I could take it back? Or posted a facebook update or responded to someone else’s comment and then went back to delete it? {am I the only one who loves that little “x”?} Or sent a tweet and then literally hit my knees, knowing that what I had said was wrong and there was just no taking it back?
Seriously. I’m not writing this series because I have it all figured out – we tend to write about what God has been tapping our hearts about, yes?
How much regret, how much pain, how much lasting damage would we avoid if we stopped one second to think: HOW? How should I say this? How might someone else read this? How might this come across to someone who is already broken and bleeding? HOW?
To be brutally honest, this question sometimes annoys me. In my sinful selfishness where the world revolves around me and my opinions, I want to respond to my own list of questions above with, “I’m just being myself. If they can’t give me some grace and the benefit of the doubt, then they’re in the wrong. Am I not allowed to have a sense of humor?”
Asking HOW requires that I think of someone other than myself. Asking HOW demands humility, recognizing that the world does not revolve around me and my opinions. Asking HOW means that just because I have an opinion, it should not necessarily be shared. Asking HOW means that I must consider that those on the other side of the screen may be fragile and broken – and while the truth is offensive, there is no excuse for ME being offensive in callousness and sin. Asking HOW means that I must think before I speak.
Do you see a man who speaks in haste?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.Proverbs 29:20
My husband and I often laugh about the fact that those who know me primarily as a blogger, Bible teacher, or lay leader in our church frequently don’t realize the other facets of my personality. So, for those who don’t know the “other sides” of me – I tend to be sarcastic. I like ironic humor. I enjoy and appreciate quick and witty words. I love having a quick comeback. {And you probably already have picked up on the fact that I have some strong opinions, too!}
This is tricky… because not only can people who know me and interact with me in person be taken off guard by the other sides of my personality, it often doesn’t come across well at all online. While my husband and my best friends I have known for half my life would instantly know the intonation of my voice when I post that biting statement on facebook… the people who don’t know me well won’t understand at all.
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21
You see, even if I intend no harm in my comment – submitting my will to others means that I MUST ask myself HOW – I must consider how {and even if!} I should say what I want to say. I must ponder how my words will come across to those on the other side of the computer.
Whether or not people fully know and appreciate ME is of no matter in comparison to whether people know Christ. No one is going to reach heaven and find themselves asking, “did I really know Kristi as well as I could have? Did I fully appreciate her witty humor?” If my words may be a stumbling block – I must lay them down.
Living humbly with one another in this digital world means that even now – perhaps especially now – we must submit ourselves (and our personalities) to one another out of reverence for Christ.
It’s a tough question, but one I think we all must ask. It’s a humbling question. How will HOW influence what words you post online today?
This post is a third in a series of questions to ask ourselves about the power of our words in social media. These posts are part of a larger series on Biblical principles for our speech through the month of May – you can find all of these “One Small Spark” posts indexed here.
- 10 Comments »
- Posted in One Small Spark
May 25th, 2011 at 8:45 am
In describing yourself, you described me perfectly. I DO forget that my irony and dry wit can come across a lot differently to people who are not aware of that “side” of me. As Bible teacher and leader, my church knows this about me. . . but what about visitors? What about visitors on my blog?
Such a good jolt into reality for me, thanks!
May 25th, 2011 at 11:18 am
What a helpful post. I fight the battle of “well others shouldn’t be so easily offended.” What a horrid lie the devil feeds me. So thankful for the hope I have in Christ to change my dark, sinful hearts!
I particularly liked this quote:
“Whether or not people fully know and appreciate ME is of no matter in comparison to whether people know Christ.”
I’m thankful for a husband who faithfully helps me check my words before the publish button is hit. What a kindness of the Lord to give me this gift in my husband.
Thanks, again!
May 25th, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Yes, yes, and yes. So well said Kristi. Thank you!
May 26th, 2011 at 8:40 am
It is so true. That’s why I will often add a smily or another emotican to try and convey what mood I am talking in.
May 26th, 2011 at 8:43 am
This series is thoughtfully written and encouraging.
I agree with Leigh Ann (a few posts back) that social media can be a godly tool and I thank our Lord Jesus for that.
I wonder if the amount of time and words given to man through social media were instead given to God in prayer, would the reality of our individual and collective lives across the globe … in our nations, communities, families, churches and one-on-one relationships be dramatically different … more God-glorifying and so consequently reflecting and establishing more of His kingdom here on earth?
Oh that the first place due our Lord Jesus would truly order our steps and our words.
May 26th, 2011 at 8:52 pm
This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about this week :) i too have that same side to me and yes, sometimes I say things that people take the wrong way, I did it yesterday and two people unfanned my page after saying something to me. I didn’t mean my written words at all in the way they took them but it didn’t matter. Damage was done in their eyes. Another side to this, while I fully 100% agree with being wise with our words, is that we as readers also have some responsibility in HOW we take things. If we read something that we “think” is off-putting, why not ask the author if they meant it in the way we took it. And once they answer, we need to BELIEVE them. Because sometimes our thoughts and reactions are wrong, just as our words can come out wrong. Anyway, my thoughts on the other side of things :) LOL
Blessings,
Mel
Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God
May 26th, 2011 at 8:53 pm
I have been voting for you on the Top 25 Faith Blogs as well! Good luck!
May 26th, 2011 at 9:10 pm
Hi, Just wanted to let you know I am voting for you daily at the circle of moms contest and want to remind you not to get discouraged (about the pagan blogs in the circle of moms contest) I really think God is doing something beyond all of us. Who knows how many pagan witches are going to Christian blogs (and hopefully get exposed ot the gospel) now b/c they are logging on to vote. I think God is up to something pretty great.
May 26th, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Laura, that is so sweet. Thank you for the votes and the encouragement! God will glorify His name and His Word! :)
May 26th, 2011 at 9:13 pm
Mel – so true that as we read we need to give grace! As writers we need to have soft and tender hearts about how things may be taken, and as readers we need to sometimes have some thicker skin and be quicker to give grace and the benefit of the doubt! :)