When all we have is a question mark
I’ve been wrestling some things through with the Lord. And at the same time I’ve been wrestling through the book of Romans. To be completely honest, Romans, like God’s plan, sometimes feels like familiar ground... and sometimes feels dry and never ending... and sometimes feels confusing.
I circle big question marks in the margins of my notes. Sometimes I write out a prayer at the end- Lord, I’m just not getting this. This is not sinking in. I need You to help me sync with Your thoughts and heart here because I don’t get it. I don’t FEEL it.
This is the prayer not only of my study of Romans but of our life at this moment in time. A circled question mark. An honest “what?!” in the margins of my mind.
And then Jesus and I came to Romans 11:33-36 today. This seems to be the answer He keeps giving me in different ways to my marginal wonderings. Today was so clear.
“Oh, the depthof the richesand wisdomand knowledge of God!How unsearchable are his judgmentsand how inscrutable his ways!.“For who has known the mind of the Lord,or who has been his counselor?”.“Or who has given a gift to himthat he might be repaid?”.For from himand through himand to himare all things.To him be glory forever.Amen.”Romans 11:33-36That is all. That is my answer.
God is big enough to handle my wrestling. My circled-in-the-margin question marks. I can ask and also trust. That is the walk of faith- believing His greatness, His glory, His sovereignty, His love, His care, His plan- even when all we have is a question mark.
Lord I don’t understand. But to You be the glory forever.