Dear foster mama with the crazy eyes
You are not crazy. This system is legit crazy.
I know this feels like war. It is. But the people involved are not your enemy. Our battle is not against flesh and blood. Do not lose sight of that and try to fight against ones who will bleed from the war just like you do.
I know this feels out of control. It is not. Our God is the sovereign One who sits enthroned above the earth. Your times, her times, are in His hands. Rest in His sovereignty and His goodness and His grace. When you rest, you can laugh, you can enjoy the good gifts your Father has given today. Gifts like holding her, right now. Feel the weight of her in your arms. She is a gift. The way she looks at you, the way she trusts you, look to Him and trust Him like that.
I know this feels too much for you. It is. He did not design you to carry this weight alone. Do not try to make yourself seem bigger than you are- just rest in His bigness. Take one step at a time, knowing He is walking beside you and the mountains tremble at His movement.
I know you want to look ahead and obsess about the future. You were not designed for that. You are temporal, locked in the now. The most important moment in your history is right now- because you can choose to trust and obey. Tomorrow has enough worries of its own- and your good God is already there. He is eternal, He can hold the future. You cannot.
I know this feels consuming. Lift up your eyes and look to the hills- where does your help come from? Your help comes from the Lord. And because of His great love for us we are not consumed. His mercy is new every morning.
He is good. You can trust Him with this.