Showing posts from October, 2020

Sometimes the surrender is the journey.

I’ve been stocking our freezer. It’s one of the little rituals I find myself doing when life gets uncertain- I freezer stockpiled before 2020 made it cool. It’s comforting to have all those meals ready to grab and go. It’s also a little sad to see those pathetic attempts at control all lined up in sharpie-labeled gallon ziplocks.
This current push to stockpile came from news that there was possibly a fifth child who could be heading to our family. Possibly. Maybe but we weren’t sure. But if XYZ happened, it was a definite (maybe). Fostercare is fun like that. Honestly, six years of living with some level of limbo and uncertainty are wearing me out. 
This (possible) (probable) (within the realm of possibility) news set us in a tailspin. I battled over here with the Lord. It was a hard fight. It brought up all my limping wounds from foster griefs in years gone by. It brought up all my stress and feelings of inadequacy. It made me take stock of my day-to-day in a different way and triggere…