As you may have read in “Radical Discipleship,” the issue of what discipleship meant to first century believers in Jesus deeply affected our understanding of the nature and weight of our job as parents.  This issue is the primary factor which turned NP and I, who always said we would never homeschool our children, in favor of taking full responsibility for the education of our children.

For this reason, I was intrigued to read and review Alan Melton and Paul Dean’s new book, Disciple Like Jesus for Parents.

It is rare that I read a Christian book and want to buy copies for everyone I know and pass it out.  That is exactly what I wish I could do with Melton and Dean’s thoughtful work!  This is far from the typical parenting book full of “how-to’s” and discipline techniques.  While there is definitely a need for books like that, Melton and Dean have taken on the challenge of describing a comprehensive philosophy of parenting based on Jesus’ approach of discipleship.

This book would be interesting to read alongside of Ham and Beemer’s Already Gone, which I reviewed back in July.  Both books are addressing the fact that the majority of “Christian” young people will end up walking away from their faith, or at least disappearing from the church.  Both raise some excellent questions and challenge the status quo among typical American Evangelical churches.  The difference, from my perspective, is that Already Gone addresses the issue primarily from the perspective of church culture and leadership, while Disciple Like Jesus places the burden of change on parents.

Melton and Dean break the book into five sections -
1. Are you discipling your children like Jesus?
2. Jesus told his disciples to follow him while He showed them how to follow God
3. Jesus was with His disciples and He took them into the world
4. Jesus constantly taught Scripture and showed His disciples how to minister
5. Jesus sent His disciples out in twos to protect them from wolves

While I agreed whole heartedly with every section of this book and would consider myself in philosophical agreement, this book was still deeply challenging, convicting, and thought-provoking.  There is no doubt in my mind that some of their pointed statements about parental influence, the practice of constantly segmenting by age in the church, and protecting our children in a multitude of ways will raise some eyebrows or even make some people downright angry.  But wow – does it need to be said!  Now the challenge is to us as parents to listen and be willing to change our mentality and habits to pattern ourselves more closely after Christ in the quest of raising true disciples of Jesus.

I truly appreciated that while sometimes divisive issues such as homeschool versus traditional school and dating versus courting were touched on, I felt that they avoided becoming legalistic or overly narrow in their view.  For instance, they challenge parents to consider how to spend the maximum amount of time possible with their children actively teaching and discipling them – but they are careful to point out that this is not a homeschool/ public school/ private school issue.  You can homeschool your children and fail to truly disciple them, and you could be very intentional about discipleship while your children attend traditional school.

Fellow parents, I strongly encourage you to consider reading this book.  Read it with an open heart – be ready for God to challenge you.  This is not the way most of us are currently parenting – it is not the way most of us were raised.  But perhaps that is what is contributing to two million children leaving the church every year, never to return.

It is time for us to take responsibility to truly disciple our own children the way Jesus discipled the twelve.

I was provided with a copy of this book in exchange for my review.  I always strive to present my honest and unbiased opinion in all reviews as stated in my disclosure policy.  I am an amazon affiliate and would receive a small percentage of any sales resulting from the links in this post.

I have been a life-long squash hater. Butternut, acorn, spaghetti, you name it… I don’t like it. My parents fought the good fight to teach their children the beauty of squash, but it never quite broke through to me.

That’s why I have been thrilled to find some ways to serve my family nutritious (and affordable!) squash in ways that even I can appreciate. This is our version of the “grilled cheese sandwiches” from Jessica Seinfeld’s Deceptively Delicious. I like my way better. ;)

Mix equal parts butternut squash puree (which I already have in my freezer from making baby food) and shredded cheese – today I used half cheddar and half mozzerella; use whatever you have/ like! I also like to add 1/4-1/2 tsp Brady’s Street Cheese Sprinkle from Penzey’s – SO good! If you don’t have that, you will want some kind of seasoning; garlic powder and salt would work well.

Spread this filling on whole wheat bread and make your sandwiches. Heat 1 Tbsp olive oil in a nonstick skillet until hot; add the sandwiches and brown like you normally would do for grilled cheese.

We followed up our lunch with some blueberry bars (with lots of spinach!) that we made from Deceptively Delicious, also – you can find the recipe here. Her recipe calls for 1 cup of blueberry preserves, but I didn’t have that. I just blended the spinach together with 1 cu washed frozen blueberries and about 1/4 cu sugar. It worked just fine. You honestly cannot taste the spinach!

I love the fact that our lunch didn’t just taste better than weekday-at-home lunches usually do, but it was also full of wholesome fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats. And my kids just thought they were having grilled cheese and dessert. ;)

One note about Deceptively Delicious – I have enjoyed having this book as inspiration more than for actual recipes. I tweak them a LOT. She always calls for “trans-fat-free soft tub margarine spread” instead of butter, but I prefer using “real” foods instead of factory altered ones, so I opt for butter. Many of the recipes turn out with a funky texture – the macaroni and cheese is rather thick and gluey, so I add quite a bit of milk and omit the cream cheese; the sweet potato pancakes end up too thin and almost crunchy, so I up the flour and omit the extra oil added to the previously greased pan. You get the picture – just plan to experiment before settling on your own way to make these things if you get the book!

What healthy lunch ideas work for you? I always like to get new ideas!

I am an amazon affiliate and would receive a small percentage of any sales resulting from the links provided.

I frequently end up discussing this topic with other young moms, so here are my thoughts…

There are two popular books that get circulated a lot about babies and sleep, at least in my circles of friends. Both were given to me before my daughter was born: “Baby Wise“, by Gary Ezzo and “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth. Some people are die hard supporters of one camp or the other. I always suggest people read both and then take both with a grain of salt and find something that works for your family and your baby’s temperment. It seems like the main difference between the books is that Baby Wise suggests you schedule sleeping around an eating schedule, and Healthy Sleep Habits suggests you schedule eating around a sleeping schedule. The latter seems more logical and workable to me, as you have more control over when your baby will eat than you do over when they will or will not sleep!! :)

Baby Wise is a good one to read… I read that before I read Healthy Sleep Habits.
I do like the philosophical underpinnings of Baby Wise – ie: the family does not revolve around the baby (although to an extent, you have to… especially with a newborn), not co-sleeping, etc. His descriptions of demand feeding seemed a bit extreme to me. Also, because Baby Wise only gives suggested guidelines for newborns, many parents I have talked to seem a bit confused about how to continue sleep patterns through childhood, and when they go from sleeping every 2 1/2 hours to taking 3 consistent naps a day, etc. His suggested schedule might work like a dream for your 3-6 week old, but then what do you do when their sleep needs start changing?

I also think Ezzo puts far too much stress on getting the baby to sleep through the night. AG started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, and LB didn’t consistently do that until 13-14 weeks. AG was a terrible napper until 8-10 weeks and WOULD NOT fall asleep on her own during the day, and LB napped like a champ from day one! Every baby has a completely different temperment. Try not to compare with other babies the same age too obsessively and feel like a failure because there is only so much control you have. I have talked to people who are so worried about their baby sleeping through the night and staying on schedule that I don’t think they even enjoy those first couple of months. There is more to parenting than getting your kid to sleep through the night as early as possible.

Healthy Sleep Habits is written by a pediatrician and pediatric sleep specialist and it gives information and guidelines through school age children… Baby Wise doesn’t have nearly the amount of scientific research behind it and really only discusses newborns. Healthy Sleep Habits is far superior, in my opinion, in giving you an overall plan for healthy sleep patterns throughout childhood. Granted, Weissbluth’s book is not a page turner. Read it well before the baby is born because there is no way you’ll want to plow through this book when you’re averaging 4 hours of sleep per night!! However, it’s definitely worth reading and I refer back to it often as the kids get older. It is broken down by age level and also addresses common sleep problems. I also liked that he acknowleges the fact that some babies are far more difficult than others and will need different approaches (Ezzo does not seem to do this at all!). I am definitely not in favor of co-sleeping, and Weissbluth is open to it. That was really the only “issue” I had with his book.

So, my recommendation, whatever that’s worth, is that people read both and then take them with a grain of salt. Your baby will be a unique little person. You can’t control everything. Isn’t that part of the amazing lesson we learn in parenting? Whether it’s pregnancy, childbirth (I think the trend to have a written “birth plan” is a little funny – like you really have that much control over what happens during labor!!), getting your newborn to sleep, nursing… we have to accept that most of that is completely out of our hands. Praise God that He’s in control of it all!!