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Let me confess something to you – I’ve watched almost every season of The Bachelor. I hear your groans of disappointment – or perhaps, quiet celebration that you are not alone in your secret Bachelor-obsession.

It all started because NP worked on Monday evenings. And then when he didn’t, watching crazy reality TV with a mental health professional is pretty interesting – so he joined me in the weekly ritual of wondering how that many grown adults can simultaneously lose all sense of sanity and boundaries. It’s like driving by a really terrible accident when you just simply cannot avert your eyes.

A few months ago I admitted my Bachelor habit to my Bible study. And then I felt completely justified in the hours I have spent with our pal Chris Harrison because it turned into a memorable illustration. At least, it was a memorable illustration for me. :)

My hypothesis is this: every season, the producers of reality drama stack their shows with a few people who legitimately are already teetering on the edge of their own reality, just to spice things up. The rest of the typically sane and balanced people get sucked into unbelievable amounts of drama and warped views of reality simply because they are isolated from all outside influence. No interactions with family or friends, no work to do, no media, no time and space and quiet to allow their minds to think sane thoughts. They are surrounded by people who are equally isolated from their normally balancing influences of meaningful work and relationships, put into completely unrealistic situations, and they all begin to convince themselves that they should fall in love with the same man everyone else is falling in love with – because if you don’t, you’re actually a failure and a fake in the world of The Bachelor.

The one “truism” (perhaps better named a “falsism?”) that is clung to, time and time again in every season, is this: “follow your heart.” The thing is, that doesn’t work out so well. Ever. “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” – Jeremiah 17:9

Welcome to crazy town.

My light-bulb moment with The Bachelor was this – what if we are more like those women sauntering into The Bachelor mansion than we realize? What if we can become so consumed with our daily reality – be it laundry, social media, toddler tantrums, household annoyances, stressful relationships, work demands, etc. – that we lose all sight of the larger Reality? We become so consumed with the mundane and temporal that we are unreasonable, irrational, overly dramatic, and dangerously close to making terrible life-altering decisions? We are surrounded by others who are equally enraptured with the shallow-now, who are constantly telling us what and who should be the recipient of our deep affection – and we are capable of losing touch with Reality all together.

I cannot simply follow my heart. My heart is deceitful and beyond cure. If I do what I am naturally inclined to do, or what feels right, or what appeals to me most, I will end up in a world of hurt. It will be me crying in crazy town. Maybe not on The Bachelor – but I’ve seen a lot of crying-in-crazy-town facebook status updates and tweets over the years. We all teeter on the edge of reality.

There really is only one solution – one way that we can jog our minds and hearts and souls back to what really matters. As we daily open up God’s Word, we discover the larger Reality. I find that while God is present in my daily life and invested in how I deal with my screaming preschooler or mountain of laundry, it matters only because of the bigger story He is telling in my life, in His church, in the world, and all across the pages of human history. His Word is the anchor that keeps me from drifting out into the dangerous ocean of my own selfish pride, my own fallen intuition, my own inclination to “follow my heart.” He is the only antidote for my natural inclination toward drama and memorable meltdowns.

Have you had your Reality check today?

Phew!* I survived July! The past weeks have been crazy and full and wonderful – I thoroughly enjoyed my girlfriend roadtrip last week and had a successful women’s ministry training and community outreach, celebrated my 31st birthday, and now need to reorganize my mind and house and schedule that seems to have exploded with all the activity around here! Ha!

So, now we’re back to One Summer, One Story! We left off with the Israelites complaining and ultimately refusing to enter the promised land. We’re going to fast-forward 40 years and meet up with Joshua and the Israelites after they had crossed over the Jordan. This is a repeat post from the Abide series, but I decided to share it again here as it is such an important lesson. God was growing the Israelites in faith school, and entering the land was a new chapter of that journey that is reflected in different ways in the faith schools of our own lives! If you’ve missed any of the One Summer, One Story series, please catch up here!

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On the evening of the fourteenth day of the month, while camped at Gilgal on the plains of Jericho, the Israelites celebrated the Passover. The day after the Passover, that very day, they ate some of the produce of the land: unleavened bread and roasted grain.  The manna stopped the day after they ate this food from the land; there was no longer any manna for the Israelites, but that year they ate of the produce of Canaan.

Joshua 5:10-12

There’s a funny thing about growing stronger in your walk with Jesus. I have talked to so many young believers who begin to flounder as they grow – God somehow seems less… obvious as they mature in their faith.

There are seasons in our Christian lives when getting to know Jesus feels like a new romance – all fireworks and “aha” moments and times with teary eyes. There are also seasons when we learn to abide in faith, just as we learned to accept salvation in faith. He is no less there, no less active, no less wanting for us to hear from Him and delight in Him. His voice does not always come thundering and shaking our lives – sometimes we must learn to be still and listen to His quiet whisperings.

I wonder if it was a strange transition for the Israelites when they entered the land. This was the promised land they had spent their entire lives wandering in the wilderness for. This second generation of people to come out of Egypt had eaten manna for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day of their lives. Six days a week they woke in faith that when they moved that tent flap, manna would be there. And every single morning, it was! They had to depend on God for His very obvious provision constantly.

And now, as they entered the land, the manna stopped.

God was still providing for them, but it was less obvious that it was directly from His hand. Now they had to plant, grow, harvest the grain in order to provide food for their families. It was tempting for them to begin thinking that now they were on their own, fending for themselves – rather than continuing to lean on God as the giver of all good gifts. It makes sense that the book of Deuteronomy, Moses’ last address to the people before entering the land, is full of the refrain “do not forget.”

As you grow in your walk, you might be tempted to think that God is less active in your life. He is still there, friend. He is still moving and whispering and orchestrating every detail. His voice is often quiet – you must be still and listen. His ways are often difficult to understand, but you must daily choose to trust.

Faith is not a one-time occurrence. Live a life of faith, and ask God to teach you each and every day to see Him in the shadows, hear Him in the quiet, obey Him when it’s hard to understand.

He is still feeding you. Choose to abide in Him and trust that He will continue to meet you in new ways, quieter ways, deeper ways.

Abide. in. Him.

It’s just a “little” sin, right? Actually, perhaps it’s a virtue since everyone else does it… and after all, we’re just “being real.” We justify and explain it away and sometimes adopt it as part of our persona.

Complaining.

As the Israelites wandered in the wilderness, this “small” sin was serious and contagious with dire consequences.

In Numbers 11:1-3, we find the people complaining; in response, God consumes the outskirts of the camp with fire. Apparently, they didn’t learn their lesson.

Now the mixed multitude who were among them yielded to intense craving; so the children of Israel also wept again and said: “Who will give us meat to eat? “We remember the fish which we ate freely in Egypt, the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic; “but now our whole being is dried up; there is nothing at all except this manna before our eyes!” …Then Moses heard the people weeping throughout their families, everyone at the door of his tent; and the anger of the Lord was greatly aroused; Moses also was displeased. (11:4-6, 10)

First, the outskirts of the camp. Now we find everyone at the door of his tent complaining in a tone that sounds an awful lot like a temper tantrum. Sadly, the contagion continued to spread.

So Moses said to the Lord, “Why have You afflicted Your servant? And why have I not found favor in Your sight, that You have laid the burden of all these people on me? “Did I conceive all these people? Did I beget them, that You should say to me, ‘Carry them in your bosom, as a guardian carries a nursing child,’ to the land which You swore to their fathers? “Where am I to get meat to give to all these people? For they weep all over me, saying, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’ “I am not able to bear all these people alone, because the burden is too heavy for me. “If You treat me like this, please kill me here and now—if I have found favor in Your sight—and do not let me see my wretchedness!” (11:11-15)

Not exactly Moses’ shining moment of faithfulness. Unfortunately, we find in Numbers 12:1-2 that the sad story still does not end with Moses:

Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married; for he had married an Ethiopian woman. So they said, “Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has He not spoken through us also?” And the Lord heard it.

(I would think those last five words should make us tremble just a bit about what we say.)

The outskirts of the camp. Everyone at the entrance of every tent. Moses. The leadership. And now… the entire nation.

In Numbers 13-14, the entire nation refuses to enter the land and claim what God has promised was theirs, balking at reports of giants and fortified cities, refusing to believe that the God who subdued Egypt and parted the Red Sea and guided them through the wilderness could lead them safely through what lay ahead. Their lack of faith resulted in 40 years of wandering in the wilderness, waiting for that entire generation to die out.

Where did it start? What attitude was it that was so contagious through the entire nation and ultimately cost them their lives?

A complaining spirit.

Sometimes I hear people talking about major sin that they found themselves in, and often the phrase, “I don’t know how this happened” ends up in the story. Suddenly, you’re in this giant pit of sin and you have no idea how you got there! Guess what: I can almost guarantee you it wasn’t a one time thing. As one of my college professors said, your soul is not sold in one giant auction – it is bartered away in thousands of tiny trades.

We often dismiss complaining as a “less serious” sin, or perhaps not a sin at all. Everybody complains – we spread our complaints across our facebook walls and blog posts and phone calls and conversations in the church hallway. Complaints about the weather, about your headache, about your husband/ wife, about your pastor, about your kids, about your car, blah, blah, blah.

But, here is the sticking point: if I truly believe that my God is sovereign, if I truly believe that absolutely nothing is out of His control… my complaints about the big AND small issues of life are tiny symptoms of a deadly cancer: lack of submission to the sovereign will of my Creator, Savior, and Lord. “God, I know that you order all things, but I think you’re doing a lousy job with the weather/ my health/ my family/ my finances/ etc.”

It starts small. It starts at the outskirts… but a complaining spirit is contagious and will ultimately destroy all those it touches. As I begin to adopt complaining as a pattern of life, I am living in constant rebellion to my God, whether it seems that bad or not. I am daily trading my soul, the cancer is spreading, and I am setting myself up for blatant sin and disobedience.

Have you submitted to God, this day, in every aspect of your life? Are you believing Him, obeying Him, submitting to Him… or are you rebelling in your heart and leading those around you to do the same?

If you’re new here… we’re continuing our One Summer, One Story series – a fast-paced overview of the “big story” of the Bible! Missed anything? Find all the past posts here.

Today I’m sharing an email exchange I had earlier this week with a reader. Knowing that this is probably a question that more of you may have, I asked for her permission to share our conversation {although I kept out her name and some personal details for her privacy}. Have a question you’d like me to answer? Feel free to email me – and perhaps “from the mailbag” will become a regular occurrence! :)

Hello Kristi:

Thank you so much for this blog. I find it really helpful and very encouraging…
I have newly been saved. This path is very new for me, in the past 1  1/2years.  It started by listening to a Christen radio station, and found HIM. In my childhood I was raised in a VERY casual Roman Catholic household. Which is what we raise our kids in. As a new mom and catholic, I need some advice. I do not know what to do next. I am saved and now what do I do. Go to church and now what?  Can you give me some guidance…
Thank you and God bless
C

Hi, C!

What a blessing to read your story of God’s work in your life – He is so faithful to pursue us!

Once we have trusted in Christ Jesus we have been “justified” – made righteous in God’s sight. We don’t obey Him in order to earn His favor or pay for our salvation – only the blood of Jesus can do that, and the debt has been paid on the cross. But throughout our lives God will sanctify us – His will for us is that we would grow in Him (Colossians 2:6-7), to continue on a lifelong process of spiritual growth and becoming more and more like Jesus Christ in how we think and live (Romans 8:29) – that we would know His Word and obey Him out of love for Him (John 14:21).

Which brings me to your question – what to do next? The simple answer: get to know Him through His Word, and obey what it says! Everything we “do” is really with that goal in mind- to get to know God, learn His Word, obey Him.

So, yes, go to church! Find a Bible-teaching church where you can form deep relationships with other believers in Jesus. In the context of a church family, you can be taught the Scriptures, worship God corporately with your church family, be discipled by another woman who can help you figure out what faith looks like in your daily life, and have encouragement and accountability as you seek to follow Jesus in all aspects of your life. Being in the church is more than attending on a Sunday morning – it means being part of the church family, serving, learning, growing, and having relationships where we can be asked hard questions and challenged to grow. We don’t go to church to earn God’s favor or because we are already “good people,” but to get to know God better, learn His Word, and learn to obey Him.

There are some “spiritual disciplines” that are essential in a Christian’s life. Just like the right soil conditions help my plants to grow and flourish, spiritual disciplines help to create an environment in our lives where we are available and receptive to getting to know God, learning His Word, seeking to obey Him. Having daily time of your own in God’s Word is essential. Hopefully this One Summer, One Story series will help you have a basic grasp on the larger “story” of what is happening in the Bible. If you’ve never read through the Bible yourself, you might want to find a reading plan to help navigate your way through the Scripture in a consistent manner. My friend Kathy Howard has some great free reading plans and other tools that may be valuable to you on her website. If you’re up for a challenge, Amy from Moms Toolbox leads online groups through the entire Bible in 90 Days – the next challenge is beginning next week!

As you are reading, it is important to take time to meditate on, or ponder deeply and reflect on, the truths that you find there. We don’t want to leave the words on the page and just fill our minds up with knowledge – because again, our goal is not just to do the “right thing” and read the Bible because it seems like something we should do – we want to get to know God, know His Word and allow it to change us from the inside out. So, when something stands out to you as you read, keep it in the forefront of your mind throughout your day and ponder what it means, what it is telling you about who God is, what it would mean to live your life in accordance with that portion of God’s Word. Many people find the SOAP method of daily study and reflection to be helpful – you can find out more about that here.

There are many more things I could add here, but I hope this gives you a good idea of where to get started on your journey of growth. One other thing I’d like to mention – since you said you were raised Catholic I’m sure you were baptized as an infant. Have you been baptized after you placed your faith in Jesus? Believer’s baptism is a public declaration of your new life in Him – I wrote more about what it means here.

I hope that helps you, C!

Because of Him,
Kristi

• For further reference: Scripture Dig series on salvation, the local church, prayer.
• Bible study resources: Kathy Howard’s God’s Truth Revealed, Michael Duncan’s Starting Out