How’s that for a catchy title? I’ve been thinking more about the comparison issue that I raised in today’s earlier homeschooling post… here are my rambly thoughts about it. I’ll throw in a seemingly unrelated story first. ;)

When I was pregnant with AG, I did what any overly paranoid-and-frantically-trying-to-figure-this-out expectant parent would do – I read everything I could get my hands on. Those plastic bags of literature and samples they send you home with after your first prenatal appointment. The free stuff that comes in the mail. The pamphlets included in your free diaper bag and additional big plastic bag of samples and brochures that you come home from the hospital with.

I basically came away with a vague awareness of how to bathe my newborn (thank goodness my mom is an RN who worked in Labor and Delivery for a long time – I got to take my nurse home with me to teach me all of these things in person!), a conviction that I should never EVER place my child on their belly to sleep (a rule which I later threw out the window when my child would NOT SLEEP – not necessarily advisable, but you do what you need to to survive!), and a commitment to breastfeed exclusively. Clearly, if I didn’t my child would end up mentally, emotionally, and physically stunted.

Things seemed to be going ok those first few weeks (other than the not sleeping thing… which was not enjoyable!). I carefully checked off my little chart the hospital gave me to make sure AG had the right number of wet diapers and stools – from my non-experienced perspective nursing seemed to be going ok.

And then…

I took my teeny little baby to her 1 month check. She was pretty tiny, but as I never really left the house and placed her next to another 4 week old baby, I hadn’t realized that she was too tiny. She was 6lb 13oz at birth, and at her 1 month check she was 6lbs even.

Not good. It was time for her to nurse so they told me to feed her and they’d weigh her again to see how much milk she was getting.

Drumroll… 1 ounce.

I bawled my eyes out in the pediatrician’s office. I was starving my baby! Why didn’t I know that she wasn’t gaining weight? Why didn’t I realize that my milk supply was basically nonexistent?? I beat myself up appropriately as any mother would. Thank the Lord for a very kind and compassionate pediatrician who quickly assured me that I was not a bad mother, I had done everything I knew to do, and we would figure this thing out. He sent me home with a bag of formula, which as a well-read breastfeeding mother, felt like defeat and compromise.

I called the lactation consultant immediately when I got home and set up an appointment. I wanted to nurse! My baby needed me to nurse! She’s going to be stunted!! (I was also running on a few hours of sleep at night, which does drastically magnify the drama in your mind!) :)

After a few weeks of meeting with her a couple of times, pumping for HOURS every day, trying supplements and a prescription that “almost always” boosts milk supply, we did the weigh/nurse/weigh routine again to see how much milk she was getting.

Drumroll… 1 ounce.

I was so upset and really felt defeated. The lactation consultant did something that I will be grateful for the rest of my life – she looked at me compassionately and said, “We can almost always address milk supply issues, but sometimes there are things that are beyond our control. Formula is not poison. Nursing is best, but formulas today are very, very good. Your job is to nourish your baby, and if formula is your best option, that’s not a bad thing.”

I think I cried a little on the way home. Partly from grief (there is a real grieving process when you can’t breastfeed and want to SO badly), partly from relief. My job was to take care of little tiny AG the best way I could. Period. La Leche League and your guilt, be gone. And you know what? For months I felt a little guilty and a little judged by breastfeeding mothers when I pulled out my bottles of formula. I think it was all in my mind, but that’s how I felt.

So, why am I telling you this long and schooling-unrelated story?

Your job is to disciple and train your children. They need to know God’s Word. They need to know algebra and literature. They need to be equipped to impact their world for Jesus Christ.

That’s your job. The method of how to get there will look different for different families. You might even feel a little judged by others for what you do or don’t do, for sending your kids to public school or for not having circle time with your home schooled little ones. :) But between listening to the Lord, knowing your kids, and communicating with your husband, your family needs to figure out how to do that in the way that’s best for you.

And whatever you do, if you are sensitive to the Lord and diligent to teach and train your children, they will not be stunted. ;)

The fall back-to-school buzz is everywhere, and many of the homeschooling blogs I follow are already talking much about burn-out, fear of failure, the “honeymoon” of starting homeschool being over, etc! If your kids are in public school or Christian school, you might be feeling those things too, in a different way. Did you make the right choice, how is this teacher going to be, will I be able to get them to school on time every day?? (that would not be an easy one for me!!!)

Obviously, as I have shared, we are starting our journey down the path of homeschooling – God has clearly led us in that direction, although I definitely don’t think it’s the best option for every family. I was sad to receive an email from a pastor’s wife who struggles with the fact that she cannot homeschool their children – she has felt condemned and judged by other Christian women because of the fact that she isn’t homeschooling. I wish that was the first time I had heard that from/about a pastor’s wife… but it isn’t.

After posting the “Stupid in America” 20/20 video on facebook, it stirred up quite a little controversy! One of the things I shared in that discussion was that I think that so much of our little territorial wars over issues from bottle feeding to schooling choices stems from fear that perhaps we didn’t make the best choice – that maybe a different way is just as good, or even better (*gasp!*). We do what seems best to us for our families and our children, but then instead of respecting the choices of others we declare them to be absolutely wrong (either in our heads or verbally!) and seek to prove that we have made the superior choice. It gets ugly.

Already with a 3 year old doing rather informal preschool, I feel a bit pressured. I don’t do “circle time” – is that bad? Should I find a co-op so she can play with other kids more often? The other night I found myself browsing preschool Bible curriculums that were just Bible stories retold… and then I thought, “hello! You don’t need a curriculum for that!!” Somehow because other people said they were using a resource that I wasn’t I felt like I was jipping my kids. There are so many awesome resources now for homeschool, but it is easy to start comparing yourself and wondering if you’re doing something wrong if what you’re doing is different.

My friend Julie over at Come Have a Peace shared some great wisdom today. She is a wise and godly woman who has had their kids in every form of schooling (two different ones right now) and understands the blessings and stresses of each. If you’re feeling pressured or frustrated or you just aren’t sure this is going to work… take a minute and listen to someone else who can share some balanced wisdom! You can read her post “When doing good goes bad” here.

As of this morning, our homeschool “room” (actually a corner of the dining room) is finished! I’m always amazed by how much an educational poster or something like that can cost, but have been thankful to find or make everything super cheaply!

Here’s the rundown:

Top left: Super cute “yesterday was _”, “today is _”, “tomorrow will be _” signs and the days of the week came in a set at Dollar Tree (for $1.00, obviously!) I laminated them for a buck or two at the educational resource center, and used the art waxer to make it stick on the wall. [Those art waxers are great! It puts a thin layer of wax on the back, and it sticks to the wall without damaging and can be moved around endlessly! Love it!]

Left middle: A poster we picked up in Williamsburg when we were first married. :)

Lower left: See our felt board sticking out there??

Top right: Calendar set, also from Dollar Tree! The calendar itself, day numbers, and month headers were separate, so it came to a budget busting $3.00. Not too bad, considering I saw an ad last night for a teacher calendar set for $23.00! I art waxed the back of the numbers and month headers, and used some Command poster hangers to hang the calendar up. This is double coupon week at KMart, so with the $1.00 command coupon from last Sunday’s paper, those poster hangers were less than $.50!

Middle right: Nice, glossy, heavyweight US map also from… Dollar Tree!

Lower right: Remember the learning clock? Cheap to make and it has been marvelous for teaching AG to tell time!

That bin and cups on the table were my solution a while back to where to keep all of our crayons and markers and coloring books –

Nate cut a heavyweight box on an angle for me and I covered it with contact paper. The cups are just tin cans that Nate spray painted white! (we covered the rough top edges with duct tape first.)

Our dining room has a swinging door into the kitchen which we don’t use [we keep it open with these stellar door stops we found at Ikea! The only way we can keep LB from trying to break his hand in the door!] With it open it provides a bit of a divider between the “school corner” and the rest of the dining room, and it also gives me more space to hang stuff! :)

I found the pocket chart in the dollar bins at Target last year, and a few weeks ago I found another one there! I keep our daily schedule in the pocket chart on word strips, along with little clock cut-outs with the time. This is an outdated schedule… another item on the “to do before we start ‘school’ list.” ;)

The handwriting poster is also from Dollar Tree, laminated at the educational resource center, hung up with command poster hangers. It’s nice that it’s at eye-level for AG when she’s sitting at the table.

I am so thankful for the many ways God provides for us – coupons, dollar stores, dollar bins, free services… He is good!

For more “works for me” tips, head over to We are THAT Family!

If you’re just joining us on this “why we’re homeschooling” series, you might want to go back and read Why We’re homeschooling, Radical Discipleship, and Packing for Ephesus!

Today’s post isn’t so much why we’re homeschooling as much as a basic look at the philosophy undergirding our general thinking about how we want to go about educating our children.

Among other things, I believe strongly that the education we provide for our children must not settle for being “adequate” or “comparable” – it must be excellent. My kids’ “pretend grandma” (who is an old family friend of my in-laws) was an administrator in a very well respected district in our area for many years – it breaks my heart when we talk about homeschooling and she has so many stories to share of families in the area who claimed to be “homeschooling” and were providing a very poor, substandard education for their kids. I think most of these homeschooling families are probably well intentioned, but I think that neglecting to provide excellent education is often a reflection of the “keep the kids out of public schools” mentality rather than a mentality of discipling our children and preparing them for the Ephesus of our day.

Now, when I say that I want my children to have an excellent, even superior, education, I have to be careful. Homeschooling, like anything else, can quickly turn into something motivated by pride and self-righteousness. Am I seeking to educate my kids in order to be little living trophies to my excellent parenting and homeschooling skills? [Ack - that sounds terrible even typing it as a question!] Or, am I seeking to disciple to follow humbly after Christ and equip them to engage their world with the good news He offers?

With that in mind, not only do I want my children to know Scripture extremely well:

I want my children to know math and science well- in our day and age, they must be well equipped to engage and answer the faith-challenging questions that come out of scientific fields. Sometimes Christians undervalue scientific study – but, this is our Father’s world! Proverbs 25:2 tells us, “It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings.” God’s glory is embedded in all of creation; as we study the intricacies of the human body, of the marvels of a butterfly’s metamorphosis, of the mathematical nature of music, it is an honor to us to learn it and it brings great glory to Him as the creator of it all! Truly, the “heavens declare the glory of God,” and home education gives fantastic opportunities to teach our children to see the Creator behind the creation!

I want my children to communicate well- from creative writing, to good grammar and spelling, to communicating through the fine arts or building a webpage, communication skills are not an end to themselves. Ultimately, homeschooling is not about preparing the next batch of crazy homeschoolers to win the national spelling bees! In the end, what it boils down to is that God has given us a message that needs to be communicated. The Scriptures echo with the message that God has communicated to us – through the written word and the Living Word – and He tells us to go and tell, to be a city on a hill rather than a light under a bushel. That message can be given through the internet, through the written word, through skillful conversation, through public speaking, through drama, through story, through art, through song!

I could go on, but I’m sure you get the jist. Education is not an end to itself. I pray that my children will master their areas of study, but not so that they can look down upon their peers with an air that says, “I’m smarter and better educated than you. I can spell better than you, I’ve memorized Oedipus Rex, I built a computer out of spare parts I found at a flea market, and I can speak four languages!” :) Once again it boils down to discipling them, training them, preparing them to engage their world with God’s Truth.

And to end with a laugh, I love this spoof video! :)