August 18th, 2011 by Kristi Stephens

Image from visualBiblealive.com

Today I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Something I have wrestled with for years as a female Bible teacher. *Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*-

I just don’t know if I like Esther {the historical figure, not the book}.

I go back and forth on this Biblical character. We tend to think of her as a Biblical hero of the faith. The Veggietales version inspires us. We use her as an example of courage and female strength and proper submission and faith. While I agree with most of that, I wonder about the faith piece. Was she really a woman of great faith, or was she fasting and doing the things she did because she was culturally a good Jew? Why is the name of God not mentioned anywhere in the book? Why was she willing to go through the “selection process” {which was more than a singing contest, I’m sure} and not voice any type of moral objection? Why did she hide her nationality? I think of her story in contrast to Daniel, another Jew living in a foreign palace in a hostile land during a time of exile – Daniel most definitely did not hide his nationality, refused to compromise his commitment to God’s law, and risked his life to do what was right rather than take the easy way out. Can we really defend Esther’s actions because her life would have been in jeopardy?

But, then I waver back the other way. Perhaps it is unfair to contrast her with Daniel – she was submitting to Mordecai’s authority and leadership in her life, and we don’t necessarily know if she agreed with him. She does fast and ask Mordecai to call the Jewish people to fast – perhaps prayer was implied?

I tell you, I’m on the fence. A decade ago I would have come down a lot harsher on Esther, but my tone has softened over the years. Yet I’m still not convinced one way or the other. I’ll tell you what I am convinced about, however: Esther isn’t the hero of the story. God is.

The book of Esther is a powerful picture of grace to me. God’s people had turned their backs on Him time and time again. They killed His prophets, rejected His Word, and flagrantly embraced false idols with grotesque practices. God had sent them into exile, where they largely continued to reject His prophets and His Word. By the time the account of Esther begins, Cyrus has allowed the Jews to return to Jerusalem, but some choose to remain where they are. {Again, I wonder why Mordecai and Esther did not return?} And even yet, God is faithful to His people who have not been faithful to Him. Faithful to His people who have turned their backs on Him time and time again. Faithful to His people who remain in a foreign land rather than returning to rebuild. Faithful. He has not forgotten them.

Whether Esther was a faithful follower of God standing courageously in faith for her people or a culturally religious woman simply interested in surviving – it really doesn’t matter as I look at this book. Because either way, God is the real hero. God is the faithful One. It’s all about God.

And as I ponder this I realize… isn’t that what grace really is? The promise that it’s not about me and my story? If my life were written up in a book, I’m not sure I would turn out looking like such a hero. I fail – often. I forget or refuse to believe. My responses and words can be damaging and hurtful. But the message of grace is this: it’s not about my story, but rather about God’s. It’s not about my faithfulness, it’s about God’s. I am not the hero of my story. God is.

Who is the hero of your life story? Self-righteousness wants to make us the centerpiece, to glorify our own goodness and set ourselves up as the example to follow, the hero to emulate. We want to showcase our good deeds and set an example, encouraging others to act like us. People who understand grace want to make God the centerpiece, to glorify His goodness in spite of our failings, to lift Him up as the only source of true goodness, the only hero of our lives. People of grace shine a spotlight on Him, not on themselves, and know that it’s not about our faithfulness, it’s about God’s.

No matter what you think of Esther, it doesn’t really matter. She was a sinner just like you, just like me. And through it all, God was faithful. Through it all, God was the hero once again.

May 16th, 2011 by Kristi Stephens

A series looking at taming our tongues

I saw the look in his eyes and it cut me to the heart.

LB, my 3 year old I often affectionately call my “wild thing,” was being… a three year old boy. Such a three year old boy, in fact, that I was teetering on the edge of sanity, clinging to the end of a rapidly fraying rope.

I yelled in exasperation. I saw my reaction mirrored in his precious face and it made me want to weep – what he saw in his mother was not love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control… what he saw and heard in me was irritation, anger, pride (because wasn’t what I was doing more important than tending to his three-year-old-ness at that moment?), impatience, harshness. The reflection wasn’t pretty.

For the rest of today’s post, join me over at the MOB Society (Mothers of Boys – but if you’re not a boy-mom come anyway!). All this week we’ll be looking at our words in parenting – it stings already!

May 10th, 2011 by Kristi Stephens

I’m also posting over at Scripture Dig today, looking at two of my favorite Biblical moms: Lois and Eunice. Hope you join us there!

Wives can be scary.

We see our men at their lowest points. We see them weep in grief when many may never have seen them shed a tear. We know what makes them angry, we know what breaks their hearts. We know the insecurities they have dealt with since they were little boys. We know the sin they battle on a daily basis, what can make them cringe in shame.

Marriage uncovers us not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually, as well. It is very hard, nay, impossible, to protect ourselves behind walls and build intimacy at the same time.

How easy it is for us to kick our men when they are down.

If there was ever a prime example of a wife attacking her husband when he was already in deep emotional, physical, and spiritual pain, it’s the wife of Job.

So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and struck Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself while he sat in the ashes. Then his wife said to him…

Job 2:7-9

Job. The man had, in the blink of an eye, lost every one of his children, his wealth, and even his standing in the community. He was a righteous man, but even his closest friends assumed he was living in sin because of the affliction that had come upon him. He literally sat in the ashes and scraped his open sores with a piece of broken pottery, seeking even the slightest bit of relief.

He was the definition of a broken man.

So, here comes Mrs. Job.. Perhaps he saw her coming and longed for a word of comfort, for companionship from his wife in this time of deep loss and suffering and confusion. I wonder if he hoped she would build him up and affirm that she knew he had done nothing wrong. She nears him and opens her mouth and speaks the anticipated words of blessing…

“…Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.”

Job 2:9b

Wait… what?? Like balm to a wounded soul, isn’t it?

Using wise words in marriage can be hard. No doubt, Job’s wife was in shock over losing her children, trying to figure out what was going on, and she may have assumed (as his friends did) that it was all Job’s fault. When our men are hurting, we are hurting, too. When they are grieving, we are usually grieving at the same time. When they are mourning over their sin, we are often struggling with anger and a sometimes even a sense of betrayal.

Our words have great power when our men face these times of vulnerability. Will we speak truth, encouragement, love, affirmation, reassurance of our commitment to them – or will we kick them when they are already down? My husband is also my brother in Christ – am I seeking his ultimate good, or am I going to use the sharp dagger of my words to wound him in revenge for how I may have been hurt?

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:11-12, ESV

Lord, please open our eyes to see our men as you see them. They are far from perfect, yes, and so are we. Reveal to us the sin and self-righteousness lurking in our hearts that bubbles out of our mouths when we are hurt and vulnerable. Show us where we have wounded them, give us courage to confess and seek forgiveness from them, heal our marriages from the damage we have inflicted with our tongues.

This post is linked up to Women Living Well Wednesdays! Want to follow this series and make sure you don’t miss a post? You can follow along easily by subscribing to this blog by email or in an RSS reader! All the posts in this series will be indexed here for future reference, as well.

July 8th, 2010 by Kristi Stephens

At the end of Judges 8, we see our pattern of apostasy repeating again:

No sooner had Gideon died than the Israelites again prostituted themselves to the Baals.

They set up Baal-Berith as their god and did not remember the LORD their God, who had rescued them from the hands of all their enemies on every side.

They also failed to show kindness to the family of Jerub-Baal (that is, Gideon) for all the good things he had done for them. (Judges 8:33-35)

Now, that was step one. Remember, throughout Judges we have this four step process:
1. The people sin and fall into idolatry
2. They are oppressed by their enemies
3. They call out to God in distress
4. He raises up a judge to deliver them from their enemies
Then the judge dies and they repeat step one – only worse than before.

Notice what happens here, though. We have an anomaly in the pattern – always something to notice!!

Abimelech son of Jerub-Baal went to his mother’s brothers in Shechem and said to them and to all his mother’s clan, “Ask all the citizens of Shechem, ‘Which is better for you: to have all seventy of Jerub-Baal’s sons rule over you, or just one man?’ Remember, I am your flesh and blood.” (Judges 9:1-2)

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said all 70 of the sons of Jerub-Baal (Remember, that was Gideon’s nickname – “He who fights against Baal”) were going to rule? Back in Judges 8:23, we looked at Gideon’s statement about rulership: But Gideon told them, “I will not rule over you, nor will my son rule over you. The LORD will rule over you.” The Lord is the King of Israel. When they are oppressed, HE has raised up deliverers for Israel. Notice that this time, Abimelech is appointing himself!

This story does not go well. Abimelech slaughters all of his brothers and sets himself up as a self-appointed ruler. God turns the city of Shechem (the ones who followed him to begin with) against him, and they begin to ambush and rob people who are passing through the hills near them in opposition to Abimelech. It ends up being a strange civil war; Abimelech wipes out the entire city of Shechem, besieges another city, and is mortally wounded when a woman drops a millstone on his head from the tower in the city. Abimelech doesn’t want to die at the hands of a woman, so he has his armor-bearer kill him with a sword.

Warm and cozy! Now, we’re going to go back to those questions we’re keeping in mind as we work through this book:

*What is the progress from one story to the next, or what changes take place?
What stands out to me here is that now we have an Israelite killing off his family and countrymen and appointing himself as the leader, rather than God raising up a leader to deliver his people from outside oppression.

*How does each story make you feel?
I definitely am marking “Abimelech” off the list of possible names for any future sons…

*How does the treatment of women and the roles they take in each story relate to the main theme?
Not a whole lot new, here – we pretty much covered it in “Women and their Deadly Nails.” We’ve got a woman hefting a millstone off the city tower, and a man so ashamed to be killed by her that he commits assisted suicide. Pretty pictures all around.

The most interesting thing to me about this account is that Abimelech is Gideon’s son. It’s intriguing how many times we see this pattern in Scripture where the son or grandchildren of a spiritual leader ends up to be completely set against God – I also discussed this topic in “Memory Loss.”  Parents, we must pass on the Truth.  Of all the things we train our children in, nothing can compare to the importance of introducing them to God’s Word, discipling them, teaching them to fear the Lord, training them to obey Him.

I was recently listening to a message from Alistair Begg on parenting, and he was talking about the hesitancy of people, even genuine believers, in our day to “indoctrinate” their children – in many cases we’ve bought this lie that we need to let them explore and discover “their own truth,” “decide for themselves what is best,” etc.

He pointed out that as parents, our main job is “indoctrination” – putting doctrine in. Teaching them, training them, imparting wisdom to them. In classic Alistair style he said, “what is this if it’s not indoctrination – this is the way we brush our teeth, brush our teeth, brush our teeth…” If I would take it as my parental job to train my kids to properly brush their teeth, why would I not take it as my deep responsibility to train them how to properly understand God and His Truth? It is a high calling – may God strengthen us for the task.

How do you teach your kids Truth?  Head on over to the fan page and share your ideas in today’s discussion!

Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
Psalm 145:3-5

*Picture from http://www.biblepicturegallery.com